1
00:00:05,167 --> 00:00:08,467
[***]

2
00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:11,734
ANNOUNCER:
 And now, Dot's Poetry Corner.

3
00:00:11,734 --> 00:00:13,200
[CLEARS THROAT]

4
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:14,801
"The Teapot."

5
00:00:14,801 --> 00:00:17,801
 I'm a little teapot
 Short and stout

6
00:00:17,801 --> 00:00:19,267
 Here is my handle

7
00:00:19,267 --> 00:00:20,901
 And here is a note
 From my shrink

8
00:00:20,901 --> 00:00:22,367
 He says I'm getting better

9
00:00:22,367 --> 00:00:24,801
 Last week I thought
 I was a toaster oven

10
00:00:24,801 --> 00:00:26,801
[LAUGHING]

11
00:00:27,968 --> 00:00:29,734
Thank you.
[FINGERS SNAPPING]

12
00:00:29,734 --> 00:00:34,000
ANNOUNCER:
 This has been another visit
 to Dot's Poetry Corner.

13
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,467
[***]

14
00:00:36,467 --> 00:00:40,167
ALL:
* It's time for Animaniacs *

15
00:00:40,167 --> 00:00:42,801
* And we're zany to the max *

16
00:00:42,801 --> 00:00:44,567
* So just sit back and relax *

17
00:00:44,567 --> 00:00:46,234
* You'll laugh
Till you collapse *

18
00:00:46,234 --> 00:00:48,634
* We're Animaniacs *

19
00:00:48,634 --> 00:00:50,434
BOTH:
* Come join
The Warner brothers *

20
00:00:50,434 --> 00:00:52,100
* And the Warner sister, Dot *

21
00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:55,100
ALL:
* Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot *

22
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:57,767
* They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught *

23
00:00:57,767 --> 00:00:59,467
* But we break loose
And then vamoose *

24
00:00:59,467 --> 00:01:00,667
* And now you know the plot *

25
00:01:00,667 --> 00:01:03,200
* We're Animaniacs *

26
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:06,200
 * Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *

27
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,701
 * Wakko packs away the snacks *

28
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,300
* We've got wisecracks
By the stacks *

29
00:01:09,300 --> 00:01:11,267
* We're Animaniacs *

30
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:13,601
 * Meet Pinky and the Brain *

31
00:01:13,601 --> 00:01:15,100
* Who want to rule
 The universe *

32
00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:16,467
 * Goodfeathers flock together *

33
00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:18,000
 * Slappy whacks 'em
 With her purse *

34
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,300
 * Buttons chases Mindy *

35
00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:20,868
 * While Rita sings a verse *

36
00:01:20,868 --> 00:01:22,567
* The writers flipped
We have no script *

37
00:01:22,567 --> 00:01:23,734
* Why bother to rehearse? *

38
00:01:23,734 --> 00:01:26,534
* We're Animaniacs *

39
00:01:26,534 --> 00:01:29,400
* We have pay-or-play
Contracts *

40
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:30,801
* We're zany to the max *

41
00:01:30,801 --> 00:01:32,467
* There's bologna
In our slacks *

42
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,033
* We're Animan-y *

43
00:01:34,033 --> 00:01:35,467
* Totally insane-y *

44
00:01:35,467 --> 00:01:36,934
*Here's the show's name-y *

45
00:01:36,934 --> 00:01:39,133
* Animaniacs *

46
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:40,601
* Those are the facts *

47
00:01:44,167 --> 00:01:45,701
[MAN YELLING]

48
00:01:46,534 --> 00:01:48,534
[***]

49
00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:58,601
NARRATOR:
 And now a fairy tale
 to delight and relax you.

50
00:01:58,601 --> 00:02:01,801
 Once upon a time,
 in an enchanted meadow,

51
00:02:01,801 --> 00:02:05,801
 lived the Warner brothers
 and their sister, Dot.

52
00:02:05,801 --> 00:02:08,033
 The Warners were a happy trio.

53
00:02:08,033 --> 00:02:11,067
 They loved to gleefully romp
 about the meadow.

54
00:02:11,067 --> 00:02:12,934
ALL:
* Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp
Hey! *

55
00:02:12,934 --> 00:02:14,901
* Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp
Hey! *

56
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:16,400
* Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp
Hey! *

57
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,033
* Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp
Hey! *

58
00:02:19,033 --> 00:02:21,033
[ALL PANTING]

59
00:02:21,033 --> 00:02:23,701
I don't know about you guys,
but I'm romped out.

60
00:02:23,701 --> 00:02:25,767
Really?
I got at least another

61
00:02:25,767 --> 00:02:27,601
nine or 10 good romps
left in me.

62
00:02:27,601 --> 00:02:28,734
Me too.

63
00:02:28,734 --> 00:02:29,734
Not me.

64
00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:30,801
I'm gonna go pick flowers

65
00:02:30,801 --> 00:02:32,000
in the forbidden meadow.

66
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,601
BOTH:
The forbidden meadow?

67
00:02:34,601 --> 00:02:36,434
Need I remind you,
sister sibling,

68
00:02:36,434 --> 00:02:37,934
that to get
to the forbidden meadow

69
00:02:37,934 --> 00:02:39,801
you have to cross the bridge
where the--

70
00:02:39,801 --> 00:02:41,634
[GULPS]
--troll lives.

71
00:02:41,634 --> 00:02:43,567
[PLAYING OMINOUS MUSIC]

72
00:02:43,567 --> 00:02:46,033
All right, Wakko,
we got the point.

73
00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:50,801
[CRASH, MAN SCREAMS]

74
00:02:51,701 --> 00:02:53,968
[MAN GROANING]

75
00:02:53,968 --> 00:02:55,534
Way to go.

76
00:02:55,534 --> 00:02:58,400
That's the fourth assistant
director you've hit this week.

77
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,167
See ya. I'll be in the forbidden
meadow if you need me.

78
00:03:01,167 --> 00:03:02,334
But what about the--

79
00:03:02,334 --> 00:03:04,033
[GULPS]
--troll?

80
00:03:04,033 --> 00:03:06,434
[PLAYING OMINOUS MUSIC]

81
00:03:06,434 --> 00:03:07,534
Enough!

82
00:03:07,534 --> 00:03:09,100
He won't bother me.

83
00:03:11,467 --> 00:03:13,734
BOTH:
* Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp
Hey! *

84
00:03:13,734 --> 00:03:15,400
* Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp
Hey! *

85
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:22,367
* Tall and dark
And really handsome *

86
00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:25,267
* The hunk from Oopoomeema's
Real dumb *

87
00:03:25,267 --> 00:03:28,868
* And when he strolls
Each one he strolls by goes *

88
00:03:28,868 --> 00:03:31,200
[SPLUTTERING]

89
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,501
[HUMMING]

90
00:03:39,501 --> 00:03:40,567
[BELCHES]

91
00:03:40,567 --> 00:03:43,167
Goats give me such gas.

92
00:03:43,167 --> 00:03:46,133
[DOT HUMMING]

93
00:03:46,133 --> 00:03:47,767
Sounds like dessert.

94
00:03:52,567 --> 00:03:53,701
[SCREAMS]

95
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,300
Blah, blah, blah!

96
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:57,767
Who does your hair,
sweetie?

97
00:03:57,767 --> 00:04:00,033
Uh, I do.

98
00:04:00,033 --> 00:04:02,400
Look at those split ends.

99
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,133
What kind of shampoo do you use?

100
00:04:04,133 --> 00:04:05,934
Ground-up toad.

101
00:04:05,934 --> 00:04:07,701
Oh, no, no, no.

102
00:04:07,701 --> 00:04:09,200
Toad's for dry hair.

103
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,601
You should use
a nice pH-balanced henna.

104
00:04:11,601 --> 00:04:12,834
Well, bye-bye.

105
00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:16,834
[GROWLING]

106
00:04:17,934 --> 00:04:20,367
Blah!
I'm gonna eat you.

107
00:04:20,367 --> 00:04:23,100
Why do you wanna do that?

108
00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:26,400
'Cause I'm a troll!

109
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,534
[PLAYING OMINOUS MUSIC]

110
00:04:28,534 --> 00:04:31,200
You don't wanna eat me.

111
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,000
I'm just
a little skinny thing.

112
00:04:35,934 --> 00:04:38,100
I know. Eat my brothers.

113
00:04:38,100 --> 00:04:40,100
They're way meatier than I am.

114
00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:43,234
They should be coming over
the bridge any minute now.

115
00:04:43,234 --> 00:04:44,767
Please?

116
00:04:47,267 --> 00:04:48,667
Hm...

117
00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:51,033
Okay,
I'll eat your brothers.

118
00:04:51,033 --> 00:04:52,067
You can go.

119
00:04:52,067 --> 00:04:53,367
Thank you.

120
00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:56,701
Good luck with your hair!

121
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,634
NARRATOR:
 Psst, Yakko, Wakko.

122
00:05:03,634 --> 00:05:05,400
We're on.

123
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,467
BOTH:
* Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp
Hey! *

124
00:05:07,467 --> 00:05:09,133
* Romp, romp, romp... *
[GROANS]

125
00:05:09,133 --> 00:05:11,834
* Romp, romp-- *

126
00:05:11,834 --> 00:05:13,033
Where are you going?

127
00:05:13,033 --> 00:05:16,133
Ah, my bottom's all sore
from romping.

128
00:05:16,133 --> 00:05:18,234
I'm gonna go pick flowers
with Dot.

129
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,968
Fine,
don't worry about me.

130
00:05:20,968 --> 00:05:23,167
I'll find someone
to romp with.

131
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,200
[WHISTLES]

132
00:05:28,934 --> 00:05:31,467
I love cartoons.

133
00:05:31,467 --> 00:05:32,868
And...

134
00:05:32,868 --> 00:05:34,734
ALL:
* Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp
Hey! *

135
00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:36,534
* Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp
Hey! *

136
00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:42,334
* We're tiny, we're toony *

137
00:05:42,334 --> 00:05:43,834
* We're all a little... *

138
00:05:43,834 --> 00:05:45,934
Ah, I'm sick of that song.

139
00:05:45,934 --> 00:05:50,801
* It's time for Animaniacs
And-- *

140
00:05:50,801 --> 00:05:52,100
[YELLS]

141
00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:53,767
Blah, blah, blah!

142
00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:55,734
What happened to your hair?

143
00:05:55,734 --> 00:05:56,968
Wait a minute.

144
00:05:56,968 --> 00:06:00,434
I know, you're a troll!

145
00:06:00,434 --> 00:06:02,300
[PLAYING OMINOUS MUSIC]

146
00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:04,400
Well,
somebody had to do it.

147
00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:09,267
I'm gonna eat you. Blah!

148
00:06:09,267 --> 00:06:11,567
You can't eat me, Mr. Troll.

149
00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:12,834
I'm under contract.

150
00:06:12,834 --> 00:06:15,100
Warner Bros. would be
very upset with you.

151
00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:17,701
They'd sue your pants off.

152
00:06:17,701 --> 00:06:20,267
Ow! Ooh.

153
00:06:20,267 --> 00:06:21,767
Go on through.

154
00:06:21,767 --> 00:06:22,767
Thank you.

155
00:06:24,834 --> 00:06:27,033
Oh, anyway,
you should eat my brother.

156
00:06:27,033 --> 00:06:28,534
He's way meatier than I am.

157
00:06:28,534 --> 00:06:31,033
[ALL GROANING]

158
00:06:31,033 --> 00:06:32,934
Come on, one more romp.

159
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,801
I'll even get in front
this time.

160
00:06:34,801 --> 00:06:36,834
Well, it was nice
while it lasted.

161
00:06:36,834 --> 00:06:38,601
[***]

162
00:06:38,601 --> 00:06:39,801
Come on.

163
00:06:39,801 --> 00:06:41,968
* Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp
Hey! *

164
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,634
* Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp
Hey! *

165
00:06:43,634 --> 00:06:45,434
* Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp
Hey! *

166
00:06:45,434 --> 00:06:47,133
Blah! I'm gonna eat you!

167
00:06:50,234 --> 00:06:52,367
* Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp
Hey! *

168
00:06:52,367 --> 00:06:55,534
NARRATOR:
 And so Yakko
joined his siblings

169
00:06:55,534 --> 00:06:57,801
 to pick flowers
 in the forbidden meadow.

170
00:06:57,801 --> 00:06:59,234
 The end.

171
00:06:59,234 --> 00:07:01,167
[***]

172
00:07:01,167 --> 00:07:02,901
ALL:
Good night, everybody!

173
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:07,968
[***]

174
00:07:07,968 --> 00:07:11,801
ANNOUNCER:
 And now, Dot's Poetry Corner.

175
00:07:11,801 --> 00:07:13,267
[CLEARS THROAT]

176
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,734
"Roses are Red."

177
00:07:15,734 --> 00:07:18,234
 Roses are red, violets are blue

178
00:07:18,234 --> 00:07:20,834
 That's what they say
 But it just isn't true

179
00:07:20,834 --> 00:07:23,300
 Roses are red
 And apples are too

180
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:26,334
 But violets are violet
 Violets aren't blue

181
00:07:26,334 --> 00:07:29,567
 An orange is orange
 But Greenland's not green

182
00:07:29,567 --> 00:07:32,501
 A pinky's not pink
 So what does it mean?

183
00:07:32,501 --> 00:07:35,767
 To call something blue
When it's not, we defile it

184
00:07:35,767 --> 00:07:39,467
 But, ah, what the heck
 It's hard to rhyme violet

185
00:07:39,467 --> 00:07:43,367
ANNOUNCER:
 This has been another visit
 to Dot's Poetry Corner.

186
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,000
[***]

187
00:07:51,067 --> 00:07:53,801
[IMITATING ENGINE]

188
00:07:58,767 --> 00:08:00,133
MINDY:
Go, cart, go.

189
00:08:02,334 --> 00:08:04,067
Everything okay out here,
honey?

190
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,267
Hi, lady.

191
00:08:05,267 --> 00:08:06,400
Call me "Mom."

192
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,968
If you need me
I'll be inside

193
00:08:07,968 --> 00:08:10,734
drafting a PTA resolution
against negligent mothers.

194
00:08:10,734 --> 00:08:14,167
Okay, lady.
I love you, bye-bye.

195
00:08:14,167 --> 00:08:17,000
She knows I'm "Mommy."
One day she'll call me that.

196
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,267
Buttons,
I want you to watch Mindy.

197
00:08:19,267 --> 00:08:22,167
And don't dig any more holes
in my flower bed.

198
00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:23,601
I've just planted mums.

199
00:08:25,901 --> 00:08:27,567
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

200
00:08:27,567 --> 00:08:29,367
[VEHICLE APPROACHING]

201
00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:35,033
Well, that seems tight.

202
00:08:39,934 --> 00:08:41,033
[GASPS]

203
00:08:41,033 --> 00:08:43,634
Wanna drive clown car.

204
00:08:47,434 --> 00:08:49,100
[GRUNTING]

205
00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:50,634
Whee!

206
00:08:50,634 --> 00:08:51,767
[LAUGHING]

207
00:08:51,767 --> 00:08:52,767
[GASPS]

208
00:08:52,767 --> 00:08:53,767
[BARKING]

209
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,234
[BARKING]

210
00:09:00,534 --> 00:09:01,834
[SQUEALING]

211
00:09:02,901 --> 00:09:03,934
[SCREAMS]

212
00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:05,467
MINDY:
Whee!

213
00:09:08,534 --> 00:09:09,901
Clown car!

214
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,868
[WHIMPERING]

215
00:09:24,868 --> 00:09:27,734
Hi, Buttons,
doggy-head.

216
00:09:31,968 --> 00:09:33,400
[GROANS]

217
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:34,601
[THUD]

218
00:09:38,234 --> 00:09:39,701
[LAUGHING]

219
00:09:46,567 --> 00:09:48,467
MINDY:
Clown car, clown car!

220
00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:55,300
Clown car, clown car.

221
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:57,133
Clown car!

222
00:09:57,133 --> 00:09:59,901
ANNOUNCER [OVER PA]:
 Gentlemen, start your engines.

223
00:09:59,901 --> 00:10:02,701
[ENGINES REVVING]

224
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:06,934
Clown car.

225
00:10:10,033 --> 00:10:11,934
[SCREAMS]

226
00:10:11,934 --> 00:10:14,434
Whee! Fun.

227
00:10:14,434 --> 00:10:15,734
Whew.

228
00:10:17,133 --> 00:10:18,167
[YELPS]

229
00:10:28,901 --> 00:10:30,634
[SIGHS]

230
00:10:36,167 --> 00:10:38,200
[HOWLING]

231
00:10:40,133 --> 00:10:41,834
Funny puppy.

232
00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:46,100
 [SHEEP BLEATING]

233
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:47,467
MINDY:
Stop, clown car!

234
00:10:47,467 --> 00:10:48,634
Stop, clown car!

235
00:10:48,634 --> 00:10:50,434
Stop!

236
00:11:00,667 --> 00:11:03,200
[SIREN WAILING]

237
00:11:09,501 --> 00:11:11,267
[AIR HISSING]

238
00:11:13,701 --> 00:11:15,567
[DRILL WHIRRING]

239
00:11:15,567 --> 00:11:18,100
Hee-hee!
Silly Buttons.

240
00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:19,467
MAN:
All clear!

241
00:11:26,367 --> 00:11:28,934
Hi, Mr. Man.
What you doing?

242
00:11:28,934 --> 00:11:30,334
Cleaning an oil filter.

243
00:11:30,334 --> 00:11:32,100
Why?
'Cause it's dirty.

244
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:33,133
Why?

245
00:11:33,133 --> 00:11:34,434
It's got oil all over it.

246
00:11:34,434 --> 00:11:35,434
Why?

247
00:11:35,434 --> 00:11:36,801
It's a car thing, kid.

248
00:11:36,801 --> 00:11:38,701
Now, look out.
I gotta get to work.

249
00:11:38,701 --> 00:11:41,234
Okay, I love you.
Bye-bye.

250
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:43,200
Clown car.

251
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,367
Does this gas station
give coupons?

252
00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:47,667
Ha-ha. A jest,
grace under pressure.

253
00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:49,000
Hemingway would love me.

254
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,300
I have to potty.

255
00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:55,434
Clown car.

256
00:11:55,434 --> 00:11:57,567
Change this tire.
It's a dog.

257
00:11:57,567 --> 00:11:59,200
Oops, sorry.

258
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,601
[DRILL WHIRRING]

259
00:12:02,868 --> 00:12:05,501
[GRUNTING]

260
00:12:08,434 --> 00:12:09,434
[YELPS]

261
00:12:12,901 --> 00:12:14,567
All clear!

262
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,801
MINDY:
Happy clown.

263
00:12:16,801 --> 00:12:18,367
[***]

264
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,167
Hey!

265
00:12:31,634 --> 00:12:32,901
MINDY:
Vroom! Vroom!

266
00:12:35,601 --> 00:12:36,734
Buttons.

267
00:12:41,868 --> 00:12:42,868
[YELPS]

268
00:12:49,767 --> 00:12:51,334
Buttons.

269
00:12:58,234 --> 00:12:59,868
[LAUGHING]

270
00:13:03,267 --> 00:13:05,601
[WHIMPERING]

271
00:13:09,434 --> 00:13:10,934
Doggy no see.

272
00:13:10,934 --> 00:13:14,634
[***]

273
00:13:22,534 --> 00:13:23,934
Whee!

274
00:13:24,634 --> 00:13:26,601
[LAUGHING]

275
00:13:28,801 --> 00:13:30,000
[LAUGHING]

276
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,601
Dirty doggy.

277
00:13:33,601 --> 00:13:35,634
[SPITTING]

278
00:13:36,801 --> 00:13:39,567
Buttons, I told you
not to dig holes.

279
00:13:39,567 --> 00:13:41,167
Bad dog, bad.

280
00:13:41,167 --> 00:13:43,634
Look at this old piece of junk
you've dug up!

281
00:13:43,634 --> 00:13:45,133
Bad, bad dog!

282
00:13:46,901 --> 00:13:48,901
[***]

283
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:54,300
[***]

284
00:13:58,133 --> 00:13:59,968
[PHONE RINGS]

285
00:13:59,968 --> 00:14:02,467
HOWIE [OVER RADIO]:
 Hello, you're
 on The Howie Turn Show.

286
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:03,901
MAN:
 Uh, yeah, Howie?

287
00:14:03,901 --> 00:14:05,367
That's my name,
don't wear it out.

288
00:14:05,367 --> 00:14:07,300
And turn down your radio,
you goofball.

289
00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:09,300
And I'm a robin.
You're on the air.

290
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:11,300
 Am I on the air?
 Oh, all right.

291
00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:13,734
 I just wanted to say
 that I think you guys are great

292
00:14:13,734 --> 00:14:15,000
 and I love your show.

293
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,601
Oh, really? Well, look,
call someone who cares!

294
00:14:17,601 --> 00:14:19,400
[BELCHES]
[LAUGHING]

295
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,267
 Ha-ha.
 I love it when youse burp.

296
00:14:21,267 --> 00:14:24,000
And, sir, I love it
when I hang up on you.

297
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,434
He was giving you
a compliment, Howie.

298
00:14:26,434 --> 00:14:29,467
I'm the number one media
personality in the world, Robin.

299
00:14:29,467 --> 00:14:31,334
Like I need compliments
from these people?

300
00:14:31,334 --> 00:14:33,701
[BELCHES]
[RINGS]

301
00:14:33,701 --> 00:14:35,334
Next caller.
You're on the air.

302
00:14:35,334 --> 00:14:38,567
WOMAN:
 Howie? I listen to you
 and Robin every morning.

303
00:14:38,567 --> 00:14:40,234
 You're like my best friends.

304
00:14:40,234 --> 00:14:42,734
Oh, that's so sweet,
thank you.

305
00:14:42,734 --> 00:14:44,334
Hey, lady.
Here's some advice.

306
00:14:44,334 --> 00:14:47,000
If we're your best friends,
then get a life!

307
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,767
 Ha-ha-ha!
 That's so great, Howie.

308
00:14:50,767 --> 00:14:52,467
I love this job.

309
00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:54,434
You're incorrigible, Howie.

310
00:14:54,434 --> 00:14:56,801
Don't you ever get pangs
of conscience?

311
00:14:56,801 --> 00:14:59,000
Hm. Truthfully...

312
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,033
No! Ha-ha-ha!

313
00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:03,367
All right, very good.
Next loser, I mean caller.

314
00:15:03,367 --> 00:15:05,100
You're on the air.
YAKKO: Hello?

315
00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:07,200
Yeah, you're on the air.
What do you want already?

316
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,868
 Uh, we don't think
 you should be so nasty

317
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:11,100
 to your callers.

318
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,901
Ooh,
you don't, don't you?

319
00:15:12,901 --> 00:15:14,968
 Uh-uh. Maybe you should try
 to be a little nicer.

320
00:15:14,968 --> 00:15:17,467
Ooh, be a little nicer?
Now, wait, wait.

321
00:15:17,467 --> 00:15:18,868
Let me get this straight now.

322
00:15:18,868 --> 00:15:22,033
You're telling me,
Howie Turn, what to do?

323
00:15:22,033 --> 00:15:24,767
Well, why don't you come here
and say that, you loser!

324
00:15:24,767 --> 00:15:26,567
Ha!
We're here.

325
00:15:26,567 --> 00:15:27,868
[YELLS]

326
00:15:27,868 --> 00:15:29,033
Who are you?

327
00:15:29,033 --> 00:15:30,701
BOTH:
We're the Warner brothers.

328
00:15:30,701 --> 00:15:32,200
And the Warner sister.

329
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,200
And you must be Howie Turn.

330
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,901
That's me,
you're lookin' at him.

331
00:15:35,901 --> 00:15:37,100
Nice wig you got there.

332
00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:38,968
Does Cher know
you're borrowing it?

333
00:15:38,968 --> 00:15:40,701
[LAUGHS]

334
00:15:40,701 --> 00:15:42,300
What are you snickering at?

335
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:43,467
It made me laugh.

336
00:15:43,467 --> 00:15:46,033
She obviously
has good taste.

337
00:15:46,033 --> 00:15:49,200
Would you mind telling me
what you are doing in my studio?

338
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,968
You told us
to come here.

339
00:15:50,968 --> 00:15:52,734
They got you there, Howie.

340
00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:54,901
Hey, Robin,
whose side are you on?

341
00:15:54,901 --> 00:15:57,000
Ours I hope.

342
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,000
[BOTH SMOOCHING]

343
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,167
All right, enough.

344
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:01,834
I want you kids
out of here now!

345
00:16:01,834 --> 00:16:03,100
You're messing up my show!

346
00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:05,367
Hey, your show was messed up
way before we got here.

347
00:16:05,367 --> 00:16:07,767
Ooh, very funny.
Who writes your material?

348
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:08,834
They do.

349
00:16:10,767 --> 00:16:13,667
Look, why don't you just go
and bother Rush Limbaugh?

350
00:16:17,667 --> 00:16:19,534
"We're afraid
he might eat us."

351
00:16:19,534 --> 00:16:21,067
[LAUGHS]

352
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,767
Stop laughing at them.

353
00:16:22,767 --> 00:16:24,400
Okay, I'm sorry.

354
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,100
Ooh, I like her.

355
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:27,701
Are you challenging me?

356
00:16:27,701 --> 00:16:29,434
No.

357
00:16:29,434 --> 00:16:31,434
All right,
you little paint smears.

358
00:16:31,434 --> 00:16:32,634
Stick around.

359
00:16:32,634 --> 00:16:35,033
I'll show you
why my show is number one.

360
00:16:35,033 --> 00:16:36,634
All right, listen up,
America.

361
00:16:36,634 --> 00:16:39,801
If you've just tuned in,
I've got three kids in here

362
00:16:39,801 --> 00:16:42,601
that think they're funnier
than the great Howie Turn.

363
00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:43,701
You know what I say to that?

364
00:16:43,701 --> 00:16:46,234
[BELCHES]
That's not a burp.

365
00:16:46,234 --> 00:16:49,000
Oh, no?
Nope.

366
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,467
[BELCHES]

367
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:52,067
[CRASHING]

368
00:16:55,133 --> 00:16:56,767
That's a burp.

369
00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:00,901
[LAUGHING]

370
00:17:00,901 --> 00:17:02,767
What kind of fool
do you take me for?

371
00:17:02,767 --> 00:17:04,334
Ooh, ooh!
I know, I know.

372
00:17:04,334 --> 00:17:05,834
Let me answer,
okay? Come on.

373
00:17:05,834 --> 00:17:09,701
Ooh, yeah, these kids think
they're really cute.

374
00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:13,367
I can't help it
if I'm cute.

375
00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:18,000
[SPITTING]

376
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,467
He's got gingivitis.

377
00:17:19,467 --> 00:17:22,434
I am Howie Turn,
I'm a big star.

378
00:17:22,434 --> 00:17:23,834
I'm a household name!

379
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:26,901
So is the Mr. Ty-D-Bol Man.
Are you related?

380
00:17:28,901 --> 00:17:31,267
Well, that's pretty funny
coming from a kid

381
00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:32,934
who looks like
a demented monkey.

382
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:37,000
BOTH:
Oh.

383
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,267
You know,
you could talk

384
00:17:38,267 --> 00:17:40,133
your head off all day
and never miss it.

385
00:17:40,133 --> 00:17:41,968
Oh, yeah?
Well, is that your face

386
00:17:41,968 --> 00:17:43,267
or did you block a kick?

387
00:17:43,267 --> 00:17:45,033
Too bad the closest
you'll ever come

388
00:17:45,033 --> 00:17:46,634
to a brainstorm
is a light drizzle.

389
00:17:46,634 --> 00:17:48,400
There's a train leaving
in a few minutes.

390
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,701
Why don't
you be under it?

391
00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:51,067
You know,
you'd make a fortune

392
00:17:51,067 --> 00:17:52,734
renting your head out
as a balloon.

393
00:17:52,734 --> 00:17:55,000
Oh--? Oh, yeah?
Well, I-- I guess

394
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,601
you're one
of those mighty brains.

395
00:17:56,601 --> 00:17:57,701
Mighty empty.

396
00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:59,334
Last time
I saw a mouth that big

397
00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:00,434
it had a fish hook in it.

398
00:18:02,434 --> 00:18:05,801
You're
a little shorty...shorty!

399
00:18:05,801 --> 00:18:07,067
Oh, yeah?

400
00:18:07,067 --> 00:18:08,334
You couldn't
even count to 20

401
00:18:08,334 --> 00:18:09,701
without taking off
your shoes.

402
00:18:09,701 --> 00:18:12,868
You're
a little big-eared kid.

403
00:18:12,868 --> 00:18:14,334
You've got a great face
for radio.

404
00:18:15,701 --> 00:18:18,534
You're a--
You're a-a noony-head.

405
00:18:18,534 --> 00:18:20,133
I know you are,
but what am I?

406
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,868
You're a--
A, uh...

407
00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:25,300
Watch out!
Duck and cover, duck and cover.

408
00:18:25,300 --> 00:18:27,901
A, uh, uh...

409
00:18:27,901 --> 00:18:29,434
[YELLING]

410
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,200
[BABBLING]

411
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,834
Well, sibs, he's finally
starting to make sense.

412
00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:41,000
Our job here is done.

413
00:18:41,934 --> 00:18:44,234
But let this be a lesson to all,

414
00:18:44,234 --> 00:18:46,000
for wherever there is belching--

415
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,734
DOT and WAKKO:
We'll be there.

416
00:18:47,734 --> 00:18:49,467
Wherever there is stupidity--

417
00:18:49,467 --> 00:18:50,901
DOT and WAKKO:
We'll be there.

418
00:18:50,901 --> 00:18:53,100
Wherever there is candy--

419
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:55,033
We'll be there
a lot quicker!

420
00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:56,501
[***]

421
00:18:57,234 --> 00:18:59,100
[***]

422
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:03,033
ANNOUNCER:
And now, Dot's Poetry Corner.

423
00:19:03,033 --> 00:19:04,467
[CLEARS THROAT]

424
00:19:04,467 --> 00:19:06,934
"The Poem That I Wrote."

425
00:19:06,934 --> 00:19:09,067
 This is the poem that I wrote

426
00:19:09,067 --> 00:19:10,234
 These are the words

427
00:19:10,234 --> 00:19:11,868
 That are in the poem
 That I wrote

428
00:19:11,868 --> 00:19:14,033
 This is the mouth
 That's saying the words

429
00:19:14,033 --> 00:19:15,834
 That are in the poem
 That I wrote

430
00:19:15,834 --> 00:19:17,667
 This is the person
 Who has the mouth

431
00:19:17,667 --> 00:19:20,167
 That's saying the words that
 Are in the poem that l wrote

432
00:19:20,167 --> 00:19:22,234
 This is the audience
 That would do anything

433
00:19:22,234 --> 00:19:23,601
 To shut up the person

434
00:19:23,601 --> 00:19:25,367
 Who has the mouth
 That's saying the words

435
00:19:25,367 --> 00:19:26,868
 That are in the poem
That I wrote.

436
00:19:26,868 --> 00:19:29,300
 This is the TV show
 That tortures an audience

437
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:30,567
 Until they would do anything

438
00:19:30,567 --> 00:19:32,334
 To shut up the person
 Who has the...

439
00:19:32,334 --> 00:19:36,334
ANNOUNCER:
 This has been another visit
 to Dot's Poetry Corner.

440
00:19:37,901 --> 00:19:39,901
[***]

441
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,400
It's that time again.

442
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,934
To make Stove Top stuffing
instead of potatoes?

443
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:48,534
No. It's time to learn
the day's lesson.

444
00:19:48,534 --> 00:19:50,200
And to find out
what it is,

445
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,734
we turn
to the Wheel of Morality.

446
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:56,033
Wheel of Morality,
turn, turn, turn.

447
00:19:56,033 --> 00:19:58,200
Tell us the lesson
that we should learn.

448
00:19:58,200 --> 00:19:59,434
Moral number two.

449
00:19:59,434 --> 00:20:02,200
And the moral
of today's story is:

450
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,701
"Don't be a fool,
stay in school."

451
00:20:04,701 --> 00:20:05,934
I'm speechless.

452
00:20:05,934 --> 00:20:08,567
Pat, I'd like
to buy a vowel.

453
00:20:08,567 --> 00:20:09,734
Wrong wheel.

454
00:20:09,734 --> 00:20:10,934
Oh, sorry.

455
00:20:10,934 --> 00:20:12,267
[WHISTLE BLOWS]

456
00:20:12,267 --> 00:20:13,868
ALL:
Yikes!

457
00:20:13,868 --> 00:20:15,868
[***]

458
00:20:19,834 --> 00:20:21,834
[***]

459
00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:56,601
[APPLAUSE]

460
00:20:56,601 --> 00:20:59,067
ANNOUNCER:
 Hey, Warner brothers
 and the Warner sister,

461
00:20:59,067 --> 00:21:01,701
 you've just completed
 another great show.

462
00:21:01,701 --> 00:21:03,701
 What are you gonna do now?

463
00:21:03,701 --> 00:21:05,234
We're going to...

464
00:21:05,234 --> 00:21:06,834
the bathroom.


